Who am I?

My native culture...

Is no culture at all.

When I was young, I relied on my parents to tell me what I could/couldn't do. I didn't look at the world around me for my standards. And if I did, I looked only at my elementary school, a private christian school. But, when I was 7, my family moved to Alaska, and I found myself as an oddity. I had no real culture to go off of, and we remained fairly unchanged in our cultural beliefs. We did not really absorb any culture from the two villages we stayed in, though we did learn to protect ourselves from the emotional dangers there. I learned to isolate myself, and I never really opened up to anyone else. However, since we did live where we lived, I gained a respect for people who didn't have all that we did. We would have students over at our house daily, because we had all these toys, and we always gave the kids snacks afterwards, so I gained some compassion and respect through those experiences, though I never interacted closely with any of them.

Then, when we moved to Korea, I was, once again, an extreme oddity. My understanding that rules were meant to be followed, and we were to be kind to everyone as much as possible were not believed by most students that I encountered, so I never opened up. I remained a hard shell, sticking to my innermost instincts, those given to me by my parents' teachings, my belief in God, and my childhood environment. I expected everyone to transform to the standards that I followed, and didn't think of any other way for it to happen. Then I opened up to someone. And in doing so, I began to learn that it wasn't my job to make everyone do what they were supposed to. I couldn't control them.

And so now, I let them do as they wish. When I believe I should speak up, I do, but I have learned to be quiet when rules are broken, because I know I can choose how I act, I don't have to compromise my values, but how anyone else acts, that's not for me to decide.

So, who am I?

I am a person of values

My values were taught and integrated into me throughout my childhood and reinforced by my belief in God

I am protective

My time in the villages of Alaska forced me to protect myself emotionally, and thus I rarely open up unless I feel completely safe

I am emotional

I feel many emotions, often times at the slightest prodding, but I don't show them often, as I am very protective

I am unique

And in being so, I am also just a tad crazy, but hey

What's the fun of being normal?